excited about what's now. not so easy for me.

do you ever find yourself dreaming, planning, considering, imagining what will be "next" in your life? i definitely do. far too much. far too often. almost daily. why is this? i'd like to believe that the main reason is because i simply cannot wait to see what God has planned for my life. this is a truthful, legitimate reason. one that i do believe makes sense. what tends to happen though, at least in my constantly processing mind, is that i spend so much mental time trying to figure out what's next that i totally waste that energy and fail to enjoy what's NOW.

don't get me wrong. i am absolutely, positively, completely happy. i am insanely in love with my husband. i enjoy our independence. i like only having to drive 5 minutes to the grocery, 7 minutes to target, and 8 minutes to work. i love having our own space. we enjoy life. we don't "make bank" but we live a relatively comfortable lifestyle. we have nice things. we have been able to travel some (although i'm always up for more!).

let's be real, rachel, one reason you're thinking about what's next is because you (think you're) ready to move. however, due to the lovely real estate market (insert sarcasm) this is not an option. you also (think you're) ready to change jobs. then there's the question: what do i want to do now? do i go back to the classroom? do i return to elementary school? am i ready to apply for an assistant principal position? do i change school districts? what the heck do i do!?!?!

my daily goal is to have the faith of Job. i believe. i trust. i pray. i know...how much God loves me; has a plan; always takes care of me; looks out for me; has my best interest in mind. the frustrating part is this "human" side of me. it's a constant struggle. i want to truly be happy today...not tomorrow or next week or next month or year. (although i DO want to be happy then as well.)

i hope you don't struggle with this. i hope you are able to find the "happy" in each moment of today. i want to conquer this. i want to bask in the now and all of its glory. i hope you can do the same.